emotion word cloud

Let’s talk about the feelers. What are they? Why do they occur?

Emotions are simply this: a reflection of WHAT is happening in your life now.

Feeling stressed? Maybe you have two major projects due at the end of the week. Maybe you have a three year old that refuses to behave like a functional human being.

Feeling angry? Maybe you have a friend that has backed out on you for the umpteenth time. Maybe you have a spouse that keeps blaming you for the mishaps in the house.

Feeling sad? Maybe you have lost a loved one. Maybe you have lost a job.

What is happening is these feelings are your body’s way of telling you to “solve the problem.”

But guess what sometimes happens…

SOMETIMES, the emotions make absolutely no sense as to what is happening in your life RIGHT NOW. Maybe your emotions are too overwhelming to make sense of anything. That is often a sign that you are triggering something from the past.

Our bodies are beautifully created, and in that creation, have been designed to protect ourselves from…yep…ourselves. Our experiences. Our memories.

Ever heard of fight or flight? It’s more than just survival against a big bear. It’s also your brain’s way of protecting you from hurtful, painful experiences–in the past or present.

We all want to live a good life (don’t we?). We all want freedom and to move beyond the current circumstances, to set ourselves up for the best-version-of-ourselves.

So, how do we do that? 

Let’s start with the emotional cycle and why we have it in the first place.

In the most basic sense, we have emotions to meet a need we have.

It’s really as simple as that.

So why do so many people run into problems with emotions?

This is also a simple answer. We are blocking the emotion. We are failing to allow a naturally occurring emotion to accomplish what it was intended to do: meet a need.

Here’s a simple scenario for an example:

Someone is standing on your toe. The first reaction is pain. You respond with “Ow! Please get off my toe!” The other person realizes his fault and gets off the toe, and might even throw in an apology. This is a clean resolution of your emotions, and ideally should hold no residual negative feelings.

Now, let’s rewind, and have that person stand back on your toe. This time, you don’t say anything, maybe because you don’t want to be rude, or because you don’t want to embarrass the other person. You allow the person to stand on your toe, which causes the pain to grow and eventually morph into anger. Negative thoughts begin to surface about that person, most of which have nothing to do with this person actually standing on your toe. “Is this person SO inconsiderate, he doesn’t notice he’s on my toe?” “Why is he so self-involved, he doesn’t notice he’s hurting me?” etc. These negative thoughts have now created a cycle of emotional imbalance.

Uh-oh.

Now, you’re building up unexpressed emotion. What may happen then is you lash out at that person for a completely different reason other than stepping on your toe. In turn, that person is now affronted and a shift has occurred in the relationship.

This happens all too often in relationships. “It is the direct result of failing to allow a natural emotional expression to accomplish what it was designed to do–meet a need.”

So, that’s where we end today. Reflect on times you have “blown up” on someone for “no reason.” Think back to what may have triggered that response.

What has happened between you and that person? Is there something that happened in the past, that you have never addressed? If you feel inclined, share with us in the comments below. Or simply type “yes, it has happened.”

Check back next Monday for Part 2:  Self Reflection.

Source: The Aroma Freedom Technique: Using Essential Oils to Transform your Emotions and Realize Your Hearts Desire, 2nd Edition, Dr. Benjamin Perkus, 2017.

I help families shift to living live a life of wellness and abundance by using natural, plant-based products.

Written by Shay Rafferty
I help families shift to living live a life of wellness and abundance by using natural, plant-based products.