Our desire to please.

Sometimes this can be detrimental. Especially in this day and age where everyone hides behind a personality they have created on social media. I love what Matthew Kelly says today, “One of the misconceptions that we can fall into, especially as Christians, is that, in some way, our Christianity is about pleasing people. That we always have to be nice, that we have to please people, that we can’t have any conflict, or start any conflict. It’s really very dangerous. It’s very dangerous to relationships. There’s a real danger to “nice.”

In order to open up and accomplish greatness in this world, sometimes you have to get down and dirty. Sometimes you have to be honest, even if it’s not “nice.” That doesn’t mean to attack each other or be nasty, but it does mean, “hey, this isn’t working–we need to re-evaluate this.”

I have sat back and observed social media for years. I think social media is a great tool and a great platform to keep in touch with family and friends near and far. It’s even a great tool for work. But, I’ve also observed how social media allows us to become down right mean–because we’re hiding behind a screen. The change in just the last decade is unbelievable. Today’s youth want immediate gratification. They don’t want God. They don’t want discipline. They don’t respect themselves or each other. I could say the same for a lot of adults.

I bring up social media with this particular reflection today–because in trying to please other people on social media, a lot of times, people wind up doing worse. Trying to please that friend group or that political group or whatever it may be…sometimes the message is more dangerous than it was originally intended.

One of the things Matthew Kelly wants you to think about today is, “how are you trying to please people in your life? And why are you trying to please these particular people in your life? And is it something that God is calling you to do or not? If not, I think we know that we need to give that the gate and work on stepping away from that. But even if it is something that God is calling you to do, even if God is calling you to please certain people, are we doing it in a healthy way? There’s a real danger that we feel called, by God, to really try and help people, please people, serve people, all of which is good, but there’s healthy ways and unhealthy ways to do that.”

On the same token, expressing your opinion, because you are trying to please, can hurt you more than help others. You have to take care of yourself in the process if pleasing others. You have to take care of you: Physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually—God’s interested in the whole person.

And be real. REAL. Don’t create an image you think others want to see. Be yourself. All of you–your faults, your failures, your achievements, just you. On this journey, you are only hurting yourself if you create an image you think everyone wants to see. You are not getting to know yourself truly and that is the number one thing to do on this journey we call life.

We must decide who our audience is going to be—our parents, children, friends, colleagues, boss, critics, spouse, self . . . or God? We must really examine it. Because if God is not first, everything else falls out of place. If self isn’t second, everything else falls out of place.

And then we become that created image and that becomes dangerous.



On this journey to follow my joy and find my happy, I am so grateful for these two. They brought me into this world. They raised me to be me. To accept who I am and be proud of it. They gave me roots — but also showed me how to spread my wings and learn to fly. They are there for me in the good and the bad–and everything in between.

I am so very thankful for these two people and having them with me brings me great joy. Because they are amazing individuals and together are an amazing team.

Written by Shay Rafferty
I help families shift to living live a life of wellness and abundance by using natural, plant-based products.